Gentle balance of being fearless and trusting
Finally one of those mornings that we got out the door on time to go to school. Since we had so much time, we decided to take the option of taking the side walk.
It was an interesting morning because I realized how much I am still surrounded by my fears. To be totally transparent, yes, I worry as a start up entrepreneur that we won’t have enough funds to live comfortably. My husband is the only one in our household that brings home a steady pay cheque to our family of five and we live in this very expensive city. According to this infographic, the average household needed income in Vancouver is over $120k and the average home is over $900k… for those that aren’t familar with the area, that pretty much means either a 1) condo with additional strata fees or b) a very run down house in the suburbs that needs $$ to update. All this to say that my fears are justified… are they? Oh and then there is the issue with parenting! The amount of fears that parenting brings out in me… well, that is a whole new story. Okay, I don’t want to see my kids get hurt! Can I control that? No… but sometimes I have a false sense that I’m in control.
So here we are this morning… taking the sidewalk. I’ve got my four year old daughter just running slightly ahead and my five year old twins just slightly behind. My four year old trips and falls down on a cement driveway, I’m about ten feet away and dash up to be next to her. As I asked her if she was okay, I noticed that the car in the driveway had the engine on. At that very same time, the driver put on the reverse lights. I pulled my daughter away, stood there and yelled out STOP! STOP!!!!! STOOOOOOPPPPPPP!!!!!!! Hitting the side of the car with my child’s lunch bag, she finally stopped. Had I not been there, my daughter likely would have been run over! If she didn’t see me yelling at her, she wouldn’t have seen a child flat on the driveway crying! The driver opened her window and apologized.
The real lesson for me here was recognizing that everything happened the way it happened because it was meant to be that way. I don’t want to spread my own fears on my children and I did use it as an example to be careful and aware of their surroundings. I didn’t SAVE my daughter from death. I was there as she needed me to be, only to pick her up and support her. Don’t get me wrong… I WANT to always be there NEXT to them and I HOPE I’m always there to keep them safe but we all know I don’t have that kind control. I also have to trust that there are greater forces around us and I’m reminded the gentle balance of being fearless and trusting.
Would love to hear about how you feel in regards to keeping your children safe but yet empowering them so they are not living in fear.
Keep loving and learning and making a difference, however big or small!