Letting go and trusting the universe has got your back
Big changes are happening and I am trusting the universe has got my back.
I had a particularly difficult week last week with work. I have been struggling for weeks now. You see I’ve been making these huge changes in myself but parts of my life remained the same and were really holding me back. The part I’m talking about is my full time job. You see, I started this job as a software developer on a project team but since it’s gone on to sustainment, the role has changed to the point it didn’t fit with anything ‘me’ any more. It was now a 24/7 support role and with little kids, it really didn’t work at all and made me miserable. But here I was trying to hold on tightly to ‘survive’ because we have to live, there’s bills to pay, children to feed, etc. and with the changes in my vision on where I saw myself going, I really didn’t know what kind of new job I wanted to start. So there I was ‘stuck’… a terrible place to be when you feel there is no exit strategy.
This was brewing all last week, the tension was so thick and I could feel the negative energy. Finally last Friday, I said to the universe “Okay, I admit it, I’m stuck… I need help. Please do what needs to be done, I am going to let go.” Then I went back to working, felt a little relieved but knew I was still in this situation. I kid you not, a couple of hours later, I got this definite thought in my head “You are going to be let go”. The emotions that ran through me were much like a caged animal wanting to get out… whoa! ‘Um… universe, I know I said that but I meant… ‘, I really wanted to claw back what I had said earlier. I was in full fight or flight mode. I wanted to control the situation once again. It was time to go home so I left and had the weekend to think about it, stress about what I just did.
Monday morning, I went to work and I wanted to tell people I was going to be let go but I thought how crazy does that sound? I made comments like “I can feel big change ahead” and then I started clearing out my desk. My coworker came by and asked why I was cleaning my desk. I told her “I feel I should be doing this”. Just before lunch, my boss comes by and asks to see me over in the boardroom. I knew exactly what was going to happen after. I was let go but not just let go, I was given a pretty nice severance package for 6 years service, support with a 3rd party vendor to transition and the end of the week to say my good byes. The universe answered. Lots of planning ahead for me but also a very big lesson to not try and control it, trust that the universe has my back and it does!
Although it was still difficult to be let go at work… ahhh… the freedom that I no longer have to serve something that doesn’t work for me feels so great! All the sudden, I realized I am living ‘freedom’ as I had envisioned… why was I fighting this and trying to hold on so tight? I can feel the opportunities opening up, I am excited!
What are some things in your life you need to let go? Are you ready for how the universe might respond? I don’t think I was ready but I seriously couldn’t have planned it better. If you have anything to share about letting go, please comment in the section below.
Keep loving and learning and making a difference, however big or small!
Lucia
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