Being a great parent not a perfect parent
The other day I wrote a response to an article I read on Huffington Post that a mother was referring to her own 3 yr old as an asshole.
My first reaction to that post was this was a mom that was clearly out of control with her little ones. What upset me the most about this post was the feedback in the comments section laughing and agreeing with her and the final punch which was that Huffington Post Live actually interviewed her for that article. I’m thinking “WTF?”… parenting is the foundation to our success in humanity and it’s a laughing matter when it’s an all out FAIL?
Seriously, I could go all crap crazy on this for days but I won’t. When it comes down to it, it’s not that anyone is doing this on purpose. The mom that wrote the article is doing the best she can based on her foundation. When we have babies, we were never handed any manual on how to raise them. Sure, we (at least, here in my hometown) get some ‘support’ in terms of a nurse coming over to our home to measure all their vitals and make sure they are growing physically to the norm standards. We might get a ‘Welcome Wagon’ type package where we get a kit with a diaper, some zinc for bum rashes, baby wash, a little onesie and a hat, then it’s off you go. Go do the best based on what you learned from your own parents and what you see out there.
I know when I started the parenting journey, it was really challenging especially since we had twins. The important thing is we kept growing with the kids. I intuitively knew what was working and what wasn’t. For those things that I knew were not working, I actually hired someone to help us. We went to a local parenting coach, Lisa Bunnage from Bratbusters Parenting. She’s the one that helped me realize it was all about leadership. I never thought of myself as someone who lacked leadership. I am a pretty darn good leader in my own life, I’ve proved this time and time again for myself. However, kids were a whole new ballgame because children think differently than adults.
There is no such thing as a perfect parent, let’s just get that out of the way. But there is a such a thing as a great parent who is supportive and loving parent that leads her/his children. Like most parents, I spend a lot of my time observing my children so I have a better idea what they need next. It’s a continual learning process, which I know will change as they grow. It’s not about being a perfect parent but being one that is willing to grow and learn. If something isn’t working for you, please considering seeking help from a parenting coach to get a different perspective. I’m currently working with Creating Champions for Life with Bonnie and Tom Liotta and they are helping me become a better leader for children.
Please do not defame your kids online to laugh and mock them, rather why not grow and search for what can make your parenting better for your children. Don’t blame your small children if they lack leadership from your parenting.
My twin 3 year olds are challenging! I value my children and respect them as growing people and I see true potential in all of them and in different ways. I see myself as having a small window of time to make an impact on their lives before they want to do it all by themselves. My children will have days that really push me to the brink of my patience and I’ve lost my cool on them many times.
They are toddlers, they do crazy shit but they also are capable of awesomeness. When we go to restaurants, we’ve had people come over to tell us how well behaved they are. The twins make their own beds. Even the two year old will put away the toys after a play session or her plate on the counter after a snack. We eat together for meals, they go to bed at 8pm and wake up at 7:30am. They laugh and giggle at each other’s jokes. They like to run, jump and explore like all kids do. And for the best part, I’m becoming a better leader for them every day. I’m teaching them life skills such as self control, respect, discernment, having goals etc. My toddlers will do most of what I ask them to do and doing it happily. Let’s just say the few times when they don’t listen, it’s because I need to slow down and listen to them too.
Keep loving and learning and making a difference, however big or small!
Lucia
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