When I was a child, I hated the world
Thankfully, I got over it but I really remember as a young child how much I hated this world. I saw at a very young age how hard the world could be and even though I was very loved at home, I didn’t feel the power to make the world a better place. I realized there was a lot of people suffering and it was really heavy on my heart. So what did I do as a child? I buried those feelings and did what I could to live.
My views on the world have changed a lot. The world is as horrible or great as you put your focus on. I believe we can make a difference. If I could make a difference for another persons life and they could make a difference in another or maybe a few others, the world is already a better place for all those people. As moms, I believe our first responsibility is to be whole and authentic, and part of being whole means we realize humanity is all connected. Then we can be authentic and empowered to nurture and bring up the beautiful souls that we were blessed to have brought into this world.
As a mom, I am learning every day how to be a better parent, it is my number #1 job. There is no doubt my children love me but I want to make a difference in their lives so they feel empowered to be the best they were meant to be. I want them to grow up to be respectful to others, loving but also be firm on their boundaries of what they believe in. I want them to realize and nurture their creativity and know that everything doesn’t have to fit into a nice neat box. I want them to be playful forever and ever.
My 3 yr old daughter is particularly sensitive to the world. I know this because she often will not want to get out of bed, she will cry and whine if anyone makes her. She has been melancholy since she was a baby. We’ve tried different things… we’ve hauled her out of bed with her screaming, we’ve gotten mad at her, we’ve given her ultimatums… but what I’ve found works the best for her is that I love her. I don’t ask her ‘why’ any more… cause I don’t want her to focus on the negative reasons. I’ve gone up to her, sat next to her, left her alone, kissed her, hugged her… all for empowering her. She responds the best to it. What could take an hour of crying and screaming, would take about 5-10 minutes and her feeling like a star. She looks at me with fondness in her eyes, her smile beams from ear to ear and as if I’ve given her power, she gets up and joins the world. I know she is in our lives for a major reason, to learn to love better.
She has taught me a lot about love already. That love doesn’t have to be harsh when we’re against tension, that love doesn’t mean you are a doormat, that love means we have our hearts open and sometimes vunerable.
There are still days that she challenges me and I expect it will happen for the rest of our lives but omigosh, to see her as an empowered strong young child… I know she will be okay because she knows mom will be there to support her in this world.
When there are moments where it is a challenge to feel loving, those are the best moments to learn to love. That’s why being a parent is the hardest job but yet the most rewarding. Feel free to comment below… would love to hear your stories of how your child challenges you.
Keep loving and learning and making a difference, however big or small!
Healing our heartsFebruary 13th, 2017
It was a sad day for my little boy…January 18th, 2017
Gentle balance of being fearless and trustingMarch 4th, 2016
Accountability: Good for yourself and your kidsApril 25th, 2014
Being a great parent not a perfect parentMarch 14th, 2014